This blog has MOVED!

Please visit www.melnewton.com for the most updated content. All these posts and more can be found over at the new URL.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

10 steps to civilized living

How to integrate yourself back into the modern day world after a fabulous 4 day backpacking trip:

Step 1: Look at your face in the starbucks mirror and realize that in addition to the overall dirtiness of your face, there are distinct lines of dirt as if you decided to do some sort of weird Indian warpaint.  Complain to your hiking buddies that they didn't even have the courtesy to tell you, and be told that they didn't even notice.

Step 2: Drink a mocha coconut frappichino while finishing off the rest of your backpacking food.  On the patio.  Because you smell too badly to further integrate yourself into society just yet.

Step 3: Take a shower.  Realize you have ZERO spare clothes.  And since you sacrificed extra clothing in your pack in order to take a pillow, there's nothing that you haven't worn for 4 days.  Borrow clothing from a family member.

Step 4:  Joyfully exclaim that you managed to escape the forest of poison oak with a mere 5 patches of the stuff on various unmentionable places of your body that you didn't bother to apply ivy block. 

Step 5: Sleep.

Step 6: Unpack, wash, dry, and put away gear.  Scamper after the puppy as she realizes she's next on the list for the same treatment.

Step 7: Clean house.  Check on horse.  I use the term rather loosely as I stood at the front of the stable and called her name.  From 6 paddocks away, Farley pricked her ears and walked towards my direction.  I decided she looked fine, paid my board bill, took stitches out of a goat (my first step towards being a small ruminant vet!), and left. 

Step 8:  Put on a sundress and go out for a date night.  There's nothing more civilized than dinner (with a gift card!) and a movie with the boyfriend. 

Step 9: Sleep

Step 10: Peruse facebook.  Discover you have to relearn to type.  After several hours of spying on your friends and family, decide you are caught up on the world events and are ready to rejoin the land of the normal. 

And the last step of all to return to civilized, normal living: WRITE A BLOG POST!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

2 comments:

  1. Welcome home! Glad you had fun.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is a little hard to return to civilization at that...

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.