I am...."Worst Crew Ever"

Editorial note: apparently I'm scaring people. Rest assured this is a post that is written tongue in cheek.  Me and Funder both agreed that worst crew every is the BEST...you know - in that "worst sort of way", and I had a lot of fun, and was very caffeine deprived (forgot to drink caffeine because I was so tired), tired (apparently sleeping in the back of a corolla isn't as restful as it could be), and in school when writing this (laminitis is so boring....), which is NEVER a good thing.  So please, read this in the light hearted fashion (but yes, every word of it is true and un-exaggerated) it was written. 

First some praise for Virgina City 100. What a fantastic, organized, fun ride. I'm convinced that this is a ride I definitely I want to go for before trying Tevis again. It's been on my bucket list from the very beginning, but for some reason I never made the time for it. There's so many reasons to go to this ride!!!!

Team Fixie (Funder + Dixie) tried another 100 last weekend and invited me to come crew.  I'll leave the story to Funder to re-tell on her blog, it seemed like a good idea at the time.... and focus on why it's absolutely insane that I keep get invited to crew.

Admitting that you are "Worst Crew Ever" (WCE) takes much of the pressure off you, as the crew the perform.  After all, you are WCE, a fact that was fully disclosed to your rider.

1. Start the day off right - have your rider wake you up as they head to the start.  Fortunately you slept in your clothes and just have to slip into shoes and then jog the 2 miles to the start, and redeem yourself by tightening their girth right before they take off.

2. Go back to bed. The whole "jog 2 miles at 4:15am" was a bit much.  Decide to be at the first vet check around 8:00 am or so. On the way to the vet check, see the trot by side of rode and realize you could be BEST CREW EVER by showing up at a check you weren't expected. Pull in and check the in timers sheet.  Either misremember/mis-see (or numbers weren't written down correctly?  Or someone said the wrong number?) your riders number and realize you missed them by TEN FREAKIN' minutes.  Crap - what were they doing going that fast???????????  Of course, later in the day, you will be told you actually missed them by 20 minutes - after you left and you regain your status as WCE.

3. Decide to get coffee at the gas station next to vet check 1. After much debate (I promise!) decide NOT to buy your rider coffee. It's crappy gas station coffee, and while I can force myself to drink it, I can't in good faith hand a cup of crappy cold coffee to my rider. Best for them to go without.  Realize you are WCE when someone ELSE from a DIFFERENT CREW hands your rider a cup of starbucks.  Starbucks?  What starbucks?  Worst crew EVER.

4. Arrive early at the second vet check.  After discussing pacing with the rider, AND soliciting three other people's opinions of how long it will take it will take to do the next section of the trail, you hadd 30 minutes as a buffer and settle down to study/eat/visit.  Someone else has to tell you your rider is in because they are AN HOUR EARLY!!!!!! Even with the 30 min buffer.  WCE. At least you peeled hard boiled eggs for your rider.  That still doesn't make you BCE - you are still WCE because you only brought half a dozen eggs and you needed more like a dozen.

5. Head over to camp to prepare for the lunch check. Rider has told you they want a hot lunch.  Best crew ever would have braved 60 mph winds and rain to get food from BBQ place in town.  WCE goes up to the food vendor and orders up hamburger and hot dog.

6. Plan on meeting rider at an unofficial crew point at the highway crossing. My phone is dead and so couldn't get the text messages from my rider requesting the rescue trailer - she had to text some one ELSE.  So I was dumped at the side of the high way with food, water, hot chocolate, chair, horse blankets, human blanket, mash, hay, while the Best Crew Ever (not me) went to get the trailer and I sat on the side of the high way, where WCE could do the least amount of damage.

7. Even the WCE can adequately set up the horse and rider for the night.  But you know you are still WCE when rider asks you to put socks on the horse and your response is "ummm......where are the socks?...." And the riders response is "never mind".

8. WCE really tries to redeem themselves the next morning.  The problem is I'm so tired. But Rider has cracked ribs and really needs help and I can at least bend over.  In the course of my redemption I dump previously pristine DVD's on the asphalt, practically cry when I realize the bale of hay has to be put into the bale bag, spill coffee on my foot etc. Tess is forgotten and tied to an ice chest for hours because you are also in the running for worst dog owner ever. 

9. Other notable achievements by WCE was forgetting all gluing supplies in case rider needed a boot replaced, not bringing rider extra clothing when it was obvious from the text message sent prior to leaving that she was not prepared for cold weather, not bidding on rider (at VC100 you get to bet on which riders will be in the top of their weight division upon finishing) because someone else started the bidding above your maximum, forgetting the rider chair for the vet checks, etc etc etc.

*sigh*  So tired. Trying to learn about laminitis and stay awake and pretend I'm not hungry because a missed breakfast is what happens when you drag yourself out of bed at minus 10 minutes from when you should have left for school.

So. Very. Tired.