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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What if I wasn’t a horse person?

Or rather: “The consequences of driving a small car”

I’ve blogged before about how we can sometimes be distracted away from our horses (for example – by inclement weather) and for a time discover all those hobbies and interests that might actually turn into something if it wasn’t for our horses. Then the situation passes and we turn back to our great love – horses.

While driving my small rental car (truck is still in the shop) this week I had another variation of that thought, which was:

“What would my life look like without horses?”

The thought wasn’t malicious or born in response to a particular horrible event. It was seriously considered only in the way that a Mother might think “how would my life be different without children?”.

I would drive a small car, like the one I am renting.

I would live in those fancy new apartments across the way. The ones in the gated community with a hot tub, game room and lounge, with a DVD lending library all included in rent.

I would take private fiddle lessons and practice every day.

I would be a serious runner and perhaps qualify for the Boston marathon.

I wouldn’t have a wardrobe composed entirely of second hand clothing and I would have more than one pair of office shoes and they would be newer than 4 years old.

I would shave my legs and join the Masters Swim club.

I would cry less, but probably would laugh less too.

I would travel to see friends in other parts of the country and I’d be better at keeping up with friends too.

I would actually make it to bible study and church more than once a month.

I would have internet at home but I probably wouldn’t have a blog and wouldn’t have learned to love other people.

I would probably be a much shallower, less caring person.

I think, in general, horse people are different. We are a little less naive, a little more accustomed to heartache and loss, but are also full of optimism and hope. We are keenly aware of the tradeoffs and costs and benefits since no matter what your income, the horses will swallow it whole. We are little more forgiving, and a little more tired then our non-horsey counterpart. A little more able to appreciate the “small things in life”. A little more likely to lend a helping hand. A little more likely to look past the grime of life and see truth. A little more likely to learn a bit of humility and the folly of pride. I think horse people are a little more likely to care.

Are you the same person if we took away your horses?


  1. Exactly some of the thoughts I've been having lately. Mostly they stem from money issues. If I didn't have horses, I would have money to do other things! My grandparents are on my case about it all the time. "You should get rid of those horses, all you do is spend money on them!" I don't even try to explain it to them anymore, they don't understand.

    I would amend the last part of your post to say "true" horsepeople. There are a lot of "horsepeople" out there that aren't really in it for the horses, and they tend to be not as...nice?

    As a kind of related side note, have you ever noticed that horse people also tend to be artistic in some way? Musically, or they draw or paint or something (or all of the above).

  2. Because was blessed to have my parents get me my first pony when I was 2,and have had them in my 40-something years ever since, I have often ponderd, and even joked about what would my life be like without horses. What sports might I have taken up over the years? What hobbies? Somehow, I don't think I'd have been a ballet dancer. Would I have been athletic at all? I can not throw or catch a ball very well. Would that have changed? My genetic make up would be the same, and I would still be the same height, but maybe different in my weight. Larger (gasp) or smaller. Would I be as strong minded and independent? Where would I have lived, since having horses detirmed that even as a child. My mother made sure to buy a house in So. C A where we had the horses in the back yard. That would have been different, so different friends, school. I'd have never met my hubby. Oh man, I had never really had THAT tought! I just told him my getting a pony when I was two, also changed HIS life. hehe

    Shoot Mel, you might have given me something to blog about, as my mind is now taking off on how my life revolves around horses.

  3. I'd have a ricer for my daily driver. (One day, 90s Honda Civic with a park bench and a coffee can, you shall be mine!) I'd still be outdoorsy, because I'd still have a dog - just not Cersei; I got her from barn people. :(

    I wouldn't be as brave. Or as patient.

  4. This is something I come in conflict with often. It's the basis of a new blog I've started, apart from my freelance photography work.

    For most of my childhood, I made it a point to be around horses in some sense..lessons, friends with horses, camp, etc. I turned down an engagement ring and asked for a horse instead. My husband and I had to move to NYC for work and I had to leave my horse life behind.

    I will tell you from first hand experience. I HATED it. I am not meant to have a life without a horse. I was miserable, sad, lonely and bored. I had plenty to do, but I felt so incomplete.

    So, that's what Horse and the City is transition from Horse life to Non Horse life and back again. It's matter how you look at it.

    Each side has its downpoints, but I would choose the horse life over anything any day!

    Thanks for sharing such an introspective post :)

  5. txtrigger - I look forward to your post. :)

    Breanna - I'm very lucky to have a very supportive family. No one has ever said to me that I should be spending my money on something else. Matt (my boyfriend) sometimes is a bit "long-suffering" about how little I see him because I'm off doing various horse things, and sometimes he doesn't feel like he's a priority. But he's never asked me to give them up, or begrudged the $$. It's more of a "Do you really like me, since I'm not sure, since you've seen me exactly once in the last 4 weeks...."

    I can distinctly remember my life before horses, because although I have loved them my entire life, I only started really riding at 15 (only occasionally before that) and didn't own my own horse until I was 21. I CAN imagine my horse without horses and it's not pretty AT ALL.

    As a side note....Matt came before the horses so that's probably one reason he doesn't begrudge them. He too knows what my life looks like without a horse! LOL.

  6. In response to Funder - I DEFINATELY wouldn't be as brave. I'm only brave because I need to be for my horse.

  7. Excellent post; penetrating insight. You know that we get that thing about the priorities and money spent on them from my mom and dad...

  8. I'm pretty sure Lytha will forgive me if I tell a story about her that pertains to the topic:

    She'd been dating this one fellow for a looooong time when the guy finally said, "You will always love that horse more than you love me."

    When she told me this, I sort of rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, and...?"

    Apparently, that's what she said to him. And he didn't think that was the right answer. And eventually he left.

    So, months later I was telling the whole thing to Jim, who was new in my life at the time. I told him what Lytha's (now) ex-boyfriend had said about her always loving the horse more than she would love the guy.

    Jim kind of rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, and...?"

    Ten years later, Jim is still around, and I daresay he loves his horse (and maybe his dog) as much as he loves me, and I maybe love my horse (and maybe my dog) more than I love him, and we're all onboard with that.

    And, of course, Lytha is now living with her good man AND her horse in Germany.

    The concept of living without our horses? Not a viable option at our house.


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