Impressions of Pebble: Day 1

For all the apparent differences between the world of dressage and the world of endurance, the fundamentals are the same. Yesterday the “Buzz” was about the footing. Whether it was suitable for the upper level horses, whether it would be improved by the next day, and whether horses would be scratched or ridden based on the footing conditions.

Have you ever scratched or not started a ride due to footing concerns on the trail? Maybe a surprise rainstorm blew in and now it’s much muddier than you had anticipated. Did you grit your teeth and ride anyways, after taking as many precautions as you could? Did you scratch and decide to ride another day? Were you trying to qualify for an upcoming ride, which complicated your decision? You may have more in common with a dressage rider than you think.

At the core of each sport are people who care about the welfare of their horses. Day 1 at Pebble was about the common core for both sports. There are recreational dressage riders, just like there are recreational endurance riders for whom to “finish is to win”. However in both sports there is also a subset that are performance oriented – who are interested in how to get the best performance from the horse, who are interested at qualifying and competing at the national or international level. And it’s OK. There is room for both types of riders in both sports.

There are definitely differences between endurance and dressage but I think that these differences are more superficial than maybe it seems at first. For example, dressage operates under different drug rules than endurance does, a horse doesn’t necessarily have to pass a vet exam to perform in the ring (although an obviously lame horse can be excused from the ring, and the rules differ if you are competing under FEI rules). However, just like endurance riders, dressage folks are very aware of, and care about the longevity of their horses and careers. On Saturday I will get to watch a very special ride – a century ride. A century ride is where the combined ages of the horse and rider is one hundred years. Just like most endurance riders are making decisions about their horse management and veterinary care based on a combination of performance, horse welfare, longevity factors, so are most dressage riders.

The temptation to form a strong bias based on a first impression is powerful, however just like I would caution people not familiar with endurance not to form an opinion about endurance based on watching an “endurance rider” at their boarding stable, or attending a local endurance ride that may or may not be sanctioned, I would caution riders who are only superficially familiar with the dressage world from doing the same. At Pebble Beach I see sound, happy horses that love their job, riders who are having to deal with both success and disappointment, and a genuine affection for these 4 legged beasts that make the sport possible. Sounds familiar eh?

Day 1 I did not show, but did jump on my (my trainer’s horse that I am showing) horse to hack and see what the status quo was. The status quo was….not desirable. He was quite tense and “up”. At home he’s usually laid back, however I was warned and expected him to be more forward at the show – something I was actually looking forward too. I wasn’t able to get him to relax and a tension cycle started between us – and once recognized that happening I walked over to my trainer, who was schooling who own horse and asked for help. So very nice to have that option! My trainer hopped on him and warmed him up a bit, and then I got on and had a very nice ride. I’m writing this post on the morning of day 2 and I have yet to get into the saddle today. I’m optimistic that after getting out yesterday he will be good to go and I won’t have to deal with any nonsense! With this horse, to get him to release tension you have to let go. The more tension, the more you have to let go. This is actually quite hard when your body is yelling “NO!” and you have to force yourself to throw the reins at him, sit up straight, relax, and smile. This is not a mean horse in any way – he just hasn’t shown in a while and seems to think this is a 3 day event! :). I have 2 tests on day 2 and 2 tests on day 3. Today I will be focusing on accuracy and relaxation on my tests, tomorrow (day 3) I’ll see how fancy I can get and see if I can get some 8’s! Wish me luck.

Two dollar solution

I trimmed Farley's feet today and the plan was to show you'all updated feet pictures.....instead I got distracted by.....my two dollar solution to keep Tess from slipping under gates and through fencing at my parents.

What was the solution you ask?

Here's another angle just so you can be sure what I've done.

Why yes, I DID attach Tess to a Walmart bouncy ball.

I've decided that puppies ARE fun. :)

It didn't drag on her at all, didn't slow her down, and most of the time she didn't even notice tagging along behind her. It did make her VERY visible and gave me those few seconds I needed to grab her if she started to go through the fencing into the neighbors.

The only one not howling in laughter and very appreciative of my genius was Farley.

Grumpy old woman.

She apparently thinks little white dogs attached to red balls are an abomination.

I took a video, but since I need to do something with my day besides wait for the video to upload to blogger, that will have to wait for another time.

Farley's feet got trimmed, but since nothing competes with a puppy, the camera didn't even come out of the case.

Product Review - Kensington Sheet

Farley in her favorite spot in the pasture. She looks relaxed but in reality she's waiting until I'm close enough to justify galloping away.....

Kensington labels this product as a "Protective Sheet", instead of a fly sheet - however most people in my area call it a fly sheet.

The flies in my parents area are incessant and vicious. They leave little welts on Farley's skin and Farley (obviously) is unhappy about this. In Turlock I successfully controlled flies by applying fly spray a couple of times a week. Just misting her lightly was enough, combined with a flymask. However, it became obvious very quickly that this protocol wouldn't work in hernew home. Farley was miserable and was very tense and tight with her nostrils squeezed up in disgust. I'm not a fan of keeping sheets and blankets on my horses for extended periods of time, however sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks.

Side view of the sheet

I've used the Kensington for almost a month and can fully recommend it without reservations. Here are my observations and comments.

The Kensington flysheet will not be the cheapest fly sheet you buy, however there were several factors that I considered that made it worth $120 (Horse.com).

• Durability - These blankets are tough. My friends havesheets that are 10 years old and going strong. They aren't nice to them either - the sheets go on in the summer and rarely come off. Farley is easy on sheets and blankets (hasn't destroyedoneyet....) and I fully expect this sheet to last me 10 years or more and be the last flysheet I purchase for Farley during her lifetime. And if it doesn't? That brings us to our next point -
• Warranty - If the blanket becomes damaged, return it to Kensington and receive a replacement blanket for half the cost. I think that this isa great warranty and for once in my life I actually filled out the warranty card and turned it in so that if I ever had issues, they would have my receipt on file.
• My fly spray is $50-60/gallon. Ignoring for the moment the non monetary costs of applying 1-2 gallons of chemical onto my horse each summer over a period of 5 months, Even if the blanket only lasted 5 years it will have paid for itself in flyspray.

Front view of the sheet. I swear the world isn't crooked - it's the camera :)

The Kensington flysheet offers breathability as well as protection from flies. Even with multiple 100+ degree days, there are no sweat stains on Farley and she does not appear to be overheated. The sheet has not changed her habits during the day - she still stands in the shade and sun according to her "schedule". I didn't think my color choice through and chose a red/black plaid according to our endurance colors, which aren't exactly known to be the coolest colors for being in the sun, but it doesn't seem to matter. We had a thunderstorm recently where it POURED all day (unusual for this area in June) and the sheet performed just fine. Even with this breathability, it provides excellent protection against flies. There is not a welt or mark on her body - which contrasts with her neck which is not protected, except by her mane and flyspray. Even though the sheet hangs down her sides, the flies are not landing on her belly - even though it isn't technically covered. I'm not sure why, but I'll accept it as a gift!

Another side view

Even though the packaging shows a fleece wither cover (and highlights it as a feature), my blanket came with a padded NON-fleece wither pad. This makes the blanket much more "country friendly" as Farley's pasture has lots of foxtails and other weeds that LOVE fleece anything and hitch a ride. The fabric of the sheet does not appear to pick up stickers and weeds and even though has been on the horse continuously for 4 weeks, still looks brand new. I know the color of my blanket is new this season so I'm not sure if some of the other colors from past seasons still have a fleece section. Don't assume that the picture on the packaging is correct and try to check it out for yourself, or talk to a knowledgeable sales rep.

Back view

The sheets run very close to true to size, to perhaps a bit small. Order exact size, or if you are between sizes, definitely round up. All of Farley's turnouts are 72" which tends to fit her good to a bit large, so that's what I ordered in the Kensington. It fits back to front perfectly, I wouldn't want it any smaller. The neck and chest is cut very generously, which is hard for Farley - she has a big wither and the top of blankets tend to slide down to the base of the wither and "stick" there. I'm always worried that it will create a pressure point there. However, this material is "slick" enough it seems to slide well enough that there is no mark or pressure there. The sewn "darts" in the butt of the blanket are abit baggy - but we all know that Farley has no butt! I think that the blanket would fit a larger muscled animal just fine. The combination of how generous the chest cut and butt is means I'm really glad I didn't size up. The sides of the blanket are very generous and hang down several inches below the line of her belly. This seems to discourage flies from landing on her belly.

Close up of the wither

I wish the sheet had a tail flap - but it doesn't. The sheet has a single belly strap, as opposed to 2 cross belly straps, however I don't think it matters.

The hind leg straps fit a bit closer than I'm used to as compared to her turn outs, probably because the sheet sizing does not run large like I'm used to and the sheet doesn't extend past the hind legs (may be a function of no tail flap). I've been keeping a close eye on how the straps are doing - I don't want them to restrict her length of stride. After some observation, I've made them looser than I'm used to. That, combined with the section of elastic in the straps, seems to be working well. No rubs or chafing.

I like this sheet well enough that I will probably check out their flymasks when it's time to replace the one that Farley has, and would be interested in their other products - such as the leg fly covers and neck covers - if I ever had a need. Having spent some time in the South, I know that my current bug problem is NOTHING like the issues that the folks down there deal with, or even what the riders on the XP ride are dealing with this summer as they ride across country. However, I've found that this is an excellent solution for a sensitive California horse and her owner and fits into my "buy it ONCE" philosophy.

Bonus Tess Picture

Catch up

Most of this post will be non-horsey related. I decided that as I have gotten to know many of my fellow bloggers I am interested in major updates beyond the stated purpose of their blogs... And since that might be true for some of my readers, I decided to bit of sharing 'bout recent events before launching into my long list of topics in the draft folder was in order.

1. I bought a commuter car. It's a weird purple/grey/silver '97 Toyota Corolla. Same model year as the car I learned the drive in, but 4 years newer - and a LOT less miles. In 2002 I recieved my '93 Corolla with 230K miles. I bought this one with 130K....as that '93 Corolla is still going strong today under the youngest sister of the family, I'm confident "The Grape" will get me through school.

Buying a used car on a budget was eerily similar to buying a horse - you can spend a little on the car (horse) and pay some maintenance/repairs (training), or you can spend more on the car (horse) and have it come with current maintenance (training). In the end you spend the same. Over the phone, all the cars drive "great", have no issues, tires are "good", brakes were done "recently". In person, the transmissions clunk, the radios are gone, the interior reeks of nicotine (and there are burn holes on the seat to prove it), and I'm not sure that the tires will make the 10 miles home. (if you aren't following me.....all horses trailer, have gaits, get along well with other horses, have great feet, and are in the picture of health.....). As with most things bought on the cheap, buying the car was not without DRAMA.....but fortunately the drama has nothing to do with the mechanical soundness of the vehicle....

2. Tess had an adventure....to the emergency vet clinic. Yeah. I learned why vets don't work on their own animals - when I saw my puppy and her front legs covered in dried blood from a (relatively minor) wound (the blood was mixing with the saliva so it just looked like there was a lot) I must admit I cried. Sobbed really. Between bouts of putting my head between my legs so I wouldn't blackout. I know. Absolutely ridiculous. Matt spent 30 minutes holding a crying Melinda, who was holding a cuddly puppy, on the living room floor until it was decided that the regular vet could not be available on a Sunday night and we would have to drive 30 minutes to the after hours clinic.

Let's back up and figure out how my stupidity led to the poor pitiful puppy that when hurt, apparently gets wonderfully snuggly, clingy and sweet. She's been getting along with the other 2 dogs so well, that we started leaving her in the backyard, loose with them. Most of the time I'm home and even when they are burning off some energy outside for a couple of hours, there's been zero issues. It's been HOT here, and I feel better about her being able to move around outside and find cool spots, instead of being in the covered run on concrete and risk her getting too hot. So, if she's been kenneled for most of the day because of whatever reason, and Matt and I have to go into town, we've been tossing her outside......

Well, obviously that wasn't the smartest thing to do and eventually something DID happen. All that saliva/blood smeared on her forequarters and drooling out of her mouth was because one of the dogs bit through her lip (and damaged a tooth and the gum - but we didn't know that yet, so we'll come back to that). It was probably an accident. Her best friend, the golden retriever, and her play hard and play ALL THE TIME. So it's very likely that in the course of wrestling around, he accidentally pierced her lip. The other possibility is Harley accidentally bit her - Tess is very submissive to Harley and rolls on her back and Harley will gently grab her muzzle, but maybe just once it was too rough? ANYWAYS. However it happened I came back to my sweet little puppy with her front legs covered in dried blood, an obvious wound on her muzzle and a huge blood clot in her mouth - but it was VERY difficult to see what was going on inside her mouth. Puncture wounds always look worse than they are....but she's a puppy and it's on her muzzle. I wasn't taking any chances.

At the emergency clinic, they found a couple of puncture wounds and sent me home with some pain meds and clavimox.

A couple of days later I noticed a foul odor coming from her mouth. the puncture wounds had healed well enough she didn't fight me looking in her mouth and I saw a greyish tooth in the back (last tooth on the upper jaw) that was obviously infected with discharge, and loose. The gum had some damage too that made it obvious that the tooth had come loose during the same injury as the puncture - and it fit what I had seen in the brief glances I had gotten of her mouth when the incident had happened. I got her into matt's vet the next day (if you are keeping track, this was vet visit #2). They couldn't decide whether it was an adult tooth or a baby tooth.....so the plan is 2 more weeks of Clavimox, and see if it falls out by itself. I think there's a good possibility it will and it's a baby tooth. The odor is MUCH better today and the tooth is even looser....so I'm crossing my fingers that she won't need an extraction. The vets have all assured me that these injuries are really no big deal long term - good that I brought her in, but everything will be OK. The good thing is, except for that first night, she doesn't seem to be in ANY pain, and no long lasting effects in personality or how she interacts with the other dogs......accidents do happen and while I take full responsibilty for allowing the situation to happen, sometimes it does feel like puppies are out to kill themselves....I recently watched her vomit up a rock..... *sigh*.

3. I've been camping...A LOT. Just got done with a trip with a fellow blogger. We hiked TEN miles with our dogs. And we were MOVIN'. When we took a wrong turn going home I was wishing that I had my Farley I could point towards home....instead of having to find the stupid turn I missed (endurance riders on foot without ribbons really are completely hopeless) all by myself. Based on recent camping experiences and hikes, I have a runnamoc update for you, and I have finally decided what I think of the Ariat Buzz Off shirt. In Tess's 16 weeks of life, she's been camping 3 times. An auspicious start for an endurance dog eh?

4. Farley is doing well. She's fat (OK - she's not really fat. More like the flesh I would like to have on her right before a 100), lazy (except when she's galloping away from me), and remarkably unimpressed by her new accessory - the Kensington fly sheet. If only she knew how cute she was in it! She should be happy that I don't make her look really stupid and add a neck thingy to it. The sheet is really working - as evidenced by the small welts on her neck and the perfectly glistening (and welt-free) coat underneath the sheet. I just can't bring myself to hide my horse completely under sheets and wraps - she deserves to just be a horse - but the flies seem resistant to every fly spray known to man. She possesses a perfectly good mane that covers her entire neck on one side....so until she gives me that look that says "I cannot deal with this any more" her neck gets to be free. Full review on the Kensington later - but the bottom line is I'm thrilled about the product and so far has performed with vicious flies, 100+ degree days, and thunderstorms - and has passed every test with flying colors.

5. Pebble Beach - I'm going. The checks have been cashed and I am GOING to Pebble Beach. On a very nice Thoroughbred that belongs to my trainer. Tomorrow is my LAST lesson, and Pebble Beach is my LAST horse show for the foreseeable future. In some ways, I'm glad to see the lessons come to an end for a while. I have been working SO hard to perform at Pebble Beach at a level that was probably realistically a year away. I'm proud of myself. I've made leaps and bounds in my riding, but it's taken a focus that I'm looking forward to applying somewhere else for a while. My riding and how I think about riding will never be the same - in a good way. I'll continue to practice dressage on my horses, and learn as much as I can through written and visual resources, but realistically any serious lessons or training is at least 10 years in the future at this point. With that in mind, I'm focusing on getting as much as I can out of this last (for the moment) formal dressage experience, and enjoy the ambiance of being at such a historical show grounds.

Foot Note -

I could use some help from my readers if any of you have any ideas for the following:

Situation 1: This upcoming Thursday and Friday night I need to spend the night in the Pebble Beach area. I do not have many funds (see car point and emergency vet point above...), making traditional hotel accomodations not an option....If anyone has any ideas where I could stay (hostel, spare bedroom, campground etc), or even a place I could park overnight and stay in my vehicle, I would really appreciate it. Ideally I would like to be within 30 minutes of Pebble Beach.

Situation 2: I will be attending a civil war event in Duncan Mills the weekend of July 16 and 17th. Tess will be with me for reasons too complicated to explain here...I am looking for somewhere to board Tess in the Duncan Mills area (near Guerneville and Sepastopol, CA) the night of July 15 and 16th. If anyone has a recommendation of a boarding kennel or vet in this area, I would appreciate it.

Hold your horses!

Sorry folks - I'm in the middle of a series of camping trips so posting is difficult to impossible. Hang in there - I have a ton of stuff going on that I will give full updates the beginning of next week. Here's short version.

I bought a commuter car (that's rife with some stressors that hopefully work themselves out...), and after doing that on Sunday, came home to a Tess that was bleeding with a hole in her lips...after I finished crying and passing out, we took her into the e-vet. She's fine except now I notice that she apparently has a broken back tooth. So now I'm trying to get her in tomorrow before our next camping trip and the weekend.

Farley is good - the Kensington sheet is awesome. Will be telling you oh so how awesome in an upcoming review.

Made in America project update

In the last year, since my "Made in America" post, I have been conscious of what I'm supporting with my dollars through my purchases. Each dollar I spend is a sort of vote. I must confess that I haven't gone terribly out of my way to insure that only US made products are being purchased, nor am I always shopping local and supporting community members - another thing I've become conscious of. If the product is good enough and cheap enough, I must admit that it will go into my cart regardless of where it comes from, or who it supports.

However, I can tell I do think differently about what and how I'm buying. Partially the change is due to the looming financial prison that is vet school. Ok - maybe that's a wee bit dramatic. But I accepted my financial aid package (or should I say "loan package") and I'm feeling a weird mixture of cynicism and optimism. In some ways the debt is absolutely crushing - in so many other ways, seeing the final numbers on paper and what my payment is going to be after school seems absolutely totally doable! ANYWAYS (back on topic...). Some of my observations in how I have changed as a consumer, since considering the "made in the US" question are as follows.

1. I buy less. I made the commitment this year to enjoy my horse and my other activities as a function of the experience and less the function of the new toys that come with it. With one exception, there have been no major equine product purchases and for once, there's nothing on the list that's pending purchase once I find a good deal, or a used one. I've stopped browsing my favorite used tack sites and stores and I'm remarkably content! Without that drive to buy Buy BUY I find that it's easier to consider each individual purchase, including the country of origin, price, quality, and degree of true necessity. When I do buy something, I find that my buying pattern has changed. For lesser value items, I'm more likely to buy new, but pay more than the strictly base model - especially if it gives me quality, or it's US made, or it has features such as parts that are replaceable that will give it a longer useful life. For higher priced items, (for example, a commuter car that I'm currently looking for) I'm more likely to buy used, and I'm pickier and insist on a good deal nowadays. I feel if you consume a large number of goods (like I have in previous years), it's difficult to think of the $$ as votes - you are simply spending too much too often to devote enough brain power to the cause.

2. My focus has shifted from price to considering Other Factors. Recently I purchased a Kensington fly sheet. I will posting a full review and some of my reasons for purchasing THAT fly sheet in an upcoming post but I thought it was a perfect example of how my purchasing rational has changed. For reasons I'll get into during the full review, I needed a flysheet. I heard a review on one of my favorite podcasts/organizations about the Kensington fly sheet (point 1 in its favor). The material used (but not the actual construction of the sheet) is made in an american factory on US soil (point 2). I have friends that use these blankets and like them (point 3). They have great reviews and the blankets are extremely durable and fall into my "buy it ONCE" principle (point 4). The warranty offered with the blanket is extremely reasonable and adds to the value (point 5). If the blanket worked as promised it would cut down tremendously on the amount of chemical fly spray I am having to use (point 6). Thus, even though the blanket was priced much higher than I would have considered in the past, I considered this a "key purchase" (and perhaps the only major equine product purchase this year) and made the decision to not look for a used sheet, or an alternative sheet and support Kensington directly as a show of support for where they are choosing to buy their materials, the warrenty they offer, and their support of the Horse Radio Network. I have made a conscious purchase and said "give me some more of that!"

3. Support of organizations I believe in, or whose services I enjoy which are provided for free. In addition to thinking of my purchases and using them as an opportunity to support what I value, I have also found myself more willing to "pay" for free services that appreciate and use. As a teen and in my early 20's, I was likely to take advantage of opportunities that provided free food, and could happily ignore the pleas to donate in support of shows or programs. Now, I'm more willing to help and support something for which I get absolutely nothing for doing so - if I didn't donate, I could still enjoy all the services that I currently give, and I won't gain anything "extra" for choosing to financially support them. I really really REALLY enjoy listening to podcasts. Podcasts accompany me through most of my day. Last night I decided to pick 3 of my favorite shows and donate $5 each to them (and yes - at least one of them was horse-related). In each case, the shows I picked had done a short blurb about donating, but didn't belabor the point or try and make me feel guilty or manipulated. In the big scheme of things of my life $5 isn't much. However, the $5 represents me supporting something I enjoy and believe in. I don't produce podcasts so I'm not sure what $5 represents to them - but by the commentators comments, I know that $5 represents SOMETHING and it isn't a slight to them. I would rather give that $5 to one of my favorite shows in order to vote with my $$ and say "yes! I support this! I am out here and listening and enjoying your work!", than buy an extra treat at the grocery store, or a gas station coffee because I forgot my thermos.

Needless to say not all my purchases are "conscious" ones where I'm making a decision to support or not to support. I still go to Walmart, I still buy stuff from Amazon, and yes, I'm still counting the pennies on most of my day-to-day purchases. However, my hope is that through consciously spending my money as I'm able, and as my circumstances and life changes, I will continue to be a better and better steward of what has been entrusted to me and support those principles and causes I believe in.

My challenge to my readers today is this:

According to point #3 above....Chose a service or program that you utilize free of charge. Give $5, or $1, or just a thank you card to encourage those people to continue, and let them know that there IS someone out there listening, enjoying, and who want to see that service continue. Sometimes it isn't the amount you give, but the fact you DID GIVE, or provided a word of encouragement. Supporting what you believe in isn't always about the big purchase or the donation.

Book Review - "Churched"

Churched - One Kid's Journey Toward God Despite a Holy Mess

By: Matthew Paul Turner

***Book was provided free of charge through the Blogging for Books service and Water Brook Multnomah publishing group in exchange for posting this review. Although those of you that have followed me for sometime know that matters not a whit when it comes to forming, and INforming YOU of my opinion.

I was smart this time - instead of randomly choosing a title that caught my eye like a shiny object, I actually RESEARCHED the book I chose to review. I let go of any notion that it was going to be HORSE related (for the best book IMO in this genre I've read so far that IS horse related, check out the Amazing Grays, Amazing Grace review) and I chose a book that got good reviews from other people.

Cheating, I know.

But I don't care - you know why? Because I actually got a book that I ENJOYED reading, and I cannot WAIT to foist off unto an unsuspecting family member - in a good way.

Turner's "Churched" is simply a look at growing up in a church. That look that doesn't take itself too seriously, while still giving careful thought and consideration to the lasting effects of doing so.

Why am I so excited to pass this book on? Because Turner has completely nailed on the head the experience growing up in the church, the personalities and eccentrincies, the doubts and fears of the christian child (or at least a christian child named Melinda, and apparently - Matthew), and how in the end, it still seems to all come together. It's interesting that I could identify with Turner as both an adult and a child. In many ways our childhood churches were very different - he attended a fundamentalist baptist church, while I attended a multitude of denominations depending on where my family lived, and which ones believed in the "priesthood of the believers". My pastors growing up were very different from the charismatic pastor described in "Churched", and yet - our thoughts, beliefs, and childhood experience of "church" (at least how he describes in the book) of growing up in church is extraordinarily similar, and the way we function in the church as adults seems to be similar as well (at least as it is described in the book - which is always a good caveat to make).

In the last few pages of the book, Turner describes some of his journey through church as an adult, and once again I see my mirror image staring back at me through Tuner's words.

"Since college, I've bounced from church to church, trying to fit into whatever shape my Church of the Moment considered 'good Christianity'...The people at those churches were nice, even compassionate...I always wondered what would happen if they knew the real me - the weak and vulnerable me."

When he talks about his "pet peeve" of his new church I nod in understanding - nothing bugs me more than a worship section of the service not done "right". And by "right" I mean with hymns and songs read out of BOOK, with a musical STAFF, and nothing written past about 1978. Because everyone KNOWS, just like God-inspired holy books have come to an end, there are NO MORE HYMNS LEFT TO BE WRITTEN. We have plenty, thank you very much, and we'all just need to stick with......but of course Turner has come to an understanding - one that I probably should come to very soon.

"But I've stopped focusing on the light show and recognized it's not hurting anybody. It's not electing presidents, boycotting theme parks, or organizing an apocalypse. It's gaudy beyond repair, but it's harmless. Besides, many people at my church love the praise-and-worship time just the way it is."

Ah yes, the (very good) advice of my elders.

This wasn't a book that revealed secrets or even had me scribbling furious journal notes in self-contemplation - instead it was a validation that there are other people LIKE ME out there, that call themselves Christians, that do their best , and who are trying to reconcile an entire life spent in church and with God and find their place in church TODAY. One of my favorite exchanges in the book was when the adult-Turner sits down with his new Pastor, Pete. Turner has just confessed how he isn't enjoying church very much, and isn't good at "doing church".

"'I'm beginning to to feel enough freedom to be okay feeling that way. And it's not that I don't want to be a part of a church. Jessica (his wife) and I both want some of our spirituality to come from the experiences that happen with a church family. We want to serve people. But I don't fit into the so-called evangelical mold. And I don't want to."

Yep - that sounds a bit familiar.....although I've never had the guts to actually SAY that to my pastor, as I generally smile a lot, titter nervously and do avoidance tactics - much like the child-Turner does.

I feel like I do the book a dis-service by highlighting passages late into the book that are rather serious - most of the book is carefree, lighthearted, and guaranteed to make you laugh at the honesty and absurdity of it all. I don't even think you necessarily need to be a Christian, or a Christian that grew up in the church to enjoy Turner's book, "Churched". My feeling is that little kids all have the same fears and doubts and questions, and whether you ask those questions in the setting of a church, or in some other venue, some part of your inner child will relate to Turner's journey, despite the Holy mess that is life.

BTW - if you do like my review and feel like doing so, I would appreciate your support at "blogging for books" by reading and rating my review there. There are contest and prizes and such for reviews and ratings of the reviews. Or you can ignore my plea out of irritation of yet another off topic book review :). Don't worry - my feelings aren't hurt, I just can't resist a free book opportunity!

Camping - Multi days; general camp set up and kitchen

Over the last couple of months I have discussed various camping set ups for shorter endurance rides lasting a day or 2, that require minimal set up. Multi days and longer rides that are out of a single ride camp can justify a more elaborate set up and can increase comfort! Of course - you can always continue to use your bare bones set up if you are that type, however I think most of us appreciate a few creature comforts if we are camping for 3-5 nights.

The easiest way to show you my tips for a base camp is through pictures. The pics you are going to see for the next couple of posts in this series were NOT taken during an endurance ride, but the set up is very similar and although I am very devoted to you - my dear reader - I am not so devoted that I'm going to set up an elaborate campsite in my backyard just to demonstrate my camping set up.....

Here's the plan for the next posts in the series - I'm going to go through my multi day base camp set up a few elements at a time, then I'll cover what I do differently during 100's (because they deserve special consideration), and lastly a few horse camp tips (I've been focusing on the human).

Unless I'm going to stay more than 2-3 nights at a location, I tend to do a very basic camp, as described in my earlier posts on this series. However, a base camp lasting 3-4 nights lets me start addressing some basic "creature comforts", such as a kitchen, shower, and a larger "living" space.

Below is my 3 person tent. I like my 1 person tent for the ease of setting up and its small footprint, however a larger tent is nice if it's important to have a place to change clothing away from peekers (the event that is pictured was a VERY large bluegrass festival that does NOT have tons of people running around in spandex - and thus basically naked anyways - so it's an accepted practice to change somewhere NOT visible....), or if there are items that need to generally be stored not out in the open (instruments etc.), or if you need "alone" time in a large group camp. It's also nice to have a larger space if there's inclement weather. At an endurance ride where it snowed and rain much of the event, I spent a majority of my free time inside of this tent with a Mr. Buddy Heater, under a Walmart "easy up", reading.

I've started using a large container outside of my tent during camping for items that I want to access to throughout the day, or small items I want to lock up. The container isn't absolutely secure, but it's bulky and not easy to get into with a padlock on it. Mostly it prevents someone that sees an easy "opportunity", not a determined thief - however in most of the venues I'm camping at, most thefts, are probably "opportunity" thefts. I kept sweatshirts, my shower kit (more on this later), my backpack, knitting, the picnic blanket you see pictured here etc, in the tub. By not going in and out of my tent multiple times a day, it cut down on the dirt and debris that came into the tent.

Not pictured is my Walmart branded "easy up" (called a "first up"). These are approximately $100 and I've used mine for ~3 years. And I haven't exactly been nice to it. It's been used in all sorts of weather from snow, rain, wind, and sun. When it isn't camping or at endurance rides, it's used as a patio shade at the house. It's held up quite well and I highly recommend it. Now that replacement covers are available for ~$30, I think they are even a better deal, as after 3 years of use, my cover probably does need replacing. I often put my tent under the canopy, although sometimes I just put my kitchen under it and use the rest of the space for shade.

Below is my kitchen set up. Everything, except the enamaled hot pot and the table fits into the duffel bag below the table.

The foil pan on top of the stove is something I was trying out as a waste water catcher and wash pan - however I wasn't thrilled with it and won't be using it in the future - I have a better idea. so for now, ignore that element!

It's nice to have your entire kitchen in one bag that can be thrown into the bag of the truck. The components of my kitchen are as follows:

One inclusive bag - I use a duffel that have a large main compartment, 2 side pockets, and a smaller front pocket.

A butane stove (one burner), with at least 2 canisters of fuel. This isn't my favorite stove EVER, but it has done a good job for me over the years. I may do a product review on this, versus some of the other options at a later date.

Cleaning supplies -

1. foaming dish soap. I like this option because it rinses off very easily if you are washing dishes with limited amount of water.

2. a dish washing brush. A better option than a cloth or sponge because it will totally dry and not harbor bacteria like a sponge, but won't require washing or drying like a dish cloth.

3. Hand sanitizer. I use the type in a pump, that has a head that will "lock" during traveling.

Eating "stuff". I like having both plastic service and a few real pieces so I don't HAVE to do dishes, but I have the choice. It isn't necessary to have EVERYTHING - for example, if you have flat bowels, plates are probably redundant.

1. Plastic stuff: utensils, cups that will do hot and cold, bowels (more useful than plates)

2. "real" stuff: a plastic stemless wine glass, a seirra cup, a small wooden flat bowel, a metal spoon.

Clean up:

I no longer bring paper towels. They disinegrate too easily, especially when wet. Same for napkins. I now bring a cloth dish towel and dish rag. I use the rag to wipe off the surface of my table and the towel to wipe my hands during cooking.

Essential Spices and Oil in a tupperware:

I managed to narrow down a few spices that were non-perishable that I could use on most foods. I used extra containers I had laying around, and made sure to label the tops of the lids with what was actually IN the bottles. In addition to black pepper, salt, olive oil, sugar, cinnamon, and tabasico, I've also thrown in 2 types of "Mrs. Dash" seasoning. I believe I have the lemon pepper and the chipotle seasoning in this kit. I like them because they are well balanced spice blends without salt that can impart a distinctive flavor to veggies or meat with little effort.

Box of essentials -

1. rubber scraper that is rated for use over heat

2. knife

3. small plastic cutting board - not pictured. I like the ones I get from the dollar store that are basically disposable and are foldable.

4. matches

5. corkscrew

6. canopener/bottle opener - not pictured as I managed to lose it on the trip before this one and I need to get another!

7. ziplocks - sandwich sized ones are the most versatile for me. I like to put 7-8 inside of a single one.

8. trashbags

9. clear bigger bags - these are bags without any kind of fasterner. useful for all sorts of stuff - as gloves to handle raw meat, to put feet into in wet weather etc.

10. pot holder

11. BBQ lighter

Last but not least is the cooking wares. I carry 3: coffee pot, old backpacking pot, small non stick skillet. I hardly (have I ever???) use the backpacking pot, but it fits in the duffel, so until I need the space for something else, there it stays, "just in case".

I use the hot pot (the big enamaled pot in the first pic - it has a spigot at the bottom) for a variety of uses. It's used as a water dispenser for general use, drinking, and washing dishes. I can put it on the stove or over a fire to heat large quantities of water (for shower, for example). I usually place a pan or bucket underneath it if I'm using it for washing or other uses where I'm not dispensing water directly into a container so there isn't mud. If the water isn't potable or generally icky, I also bring a gallon or 2 of drinking water in gallon containers.

Next I'll cover my portable shower!

Celebrate Something

My endurance/horse training note book (that Steph Teeter at endurance.net designed) has a cartoon this week that instructs me to find something to celebrate.

Farley is 4 MONTHS post injury. I moved her to the big pasture a couple of days ago. She has shown her appreciation by not touching the bale of hay I put out there for FOUR days and is subsisting entirely on some sort of grass and shrubbery out there. *shrugs*. She's wonderfully sound. How can I tell? She spent 10 minutes galloping away from me in evasive manuevers yesterday. When not galloping, she would do this awesome, knee snapping BIG trot. Seems rather silly to ride my horse at a walk after all that. BUT - I'm not keeping her on stall rest for a year, and the risk of a tye up is too great if I keep her in a small pen too long (although as she loses condition the risk becomes less and less I hope), and honestly - let's face it. The leg is wonderfully tight. A month ago the suspensory looked GREAT. The reinjury to the SDF is small. If she can't be an endurance horse because at 4 months post injury she decided to run around a medium sized (for California) pasture over good footing.....then it's not in our cards to continue an endurance partnership and we'll do something else. It's not a 100% I would have my endurance horse back if things went PERFECTLY, so I'll take my chances (while not being stupid) and let her be a horse as much as I can over this year of recovery.

So although I MAY have taken off my helmet in disgust at her antics and vainly tried to counter her movements in flip flops and shorts while avoiding the fox tails that were trying to lacerate my toes......I'm not having any heart attacks at this point.

Yes, I eventually got on my fat little mare, who instantly went behind my leg because she argued that dressage at a walk is so HARD, and she couldn't POSSIBLY be expected to go on the bit her in condition......No signs that she was going to throw a major temper tantrum - but I'll probably wait a few weeks until AFTER pebble beach dressage show, and then hop on her with saddle and dressage whip and discuss what it means to be in front of my leg.

Silly horse. I've been giving a lot of thought of how to go about making her an endurance horse again, and what my "rules" will be once I do so. With four months off of saddle and a year until any major work.....I have a chance at to restart Farley in endurance and dressage according to what I've learned in the last couple of years, and establish new goals!

Another celebration - my arm is 6 weeks post break, so I'm officially cleared to weight train (albeit slowly and gradually) again and have been doing all sorts of "normal" stuff! Like hop on fat slow ponies that resent my very presence in their pasture.

Yet another celebration - I have caught up on all my silly blog reading. Just in time to go out of town again. Please, for the sake of my sanity, PLEASE don't do anything this weekend so interesting it requires copious amounts of blogging. I JUST caught up. :(

In which I am very hot and I am learning patience

I have made a goal. By the end of this afternoon, I will only have 400 unread posts in my Google Reader queue. Currently I have 669 posts. 269 to go. My progress would be slightly more EFFICIENT if I didn't have this antiquated piece of JUNK that keeps giving me the spinning pinwheel of death approximately every 30 seconds and lags behind my typing by at least 3 words. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! It's tiny available memory (600 MB left....) is struggling to have 3 browser windows open, and heaven forbid I accidentally pull up my dashboard expose and have IT take up memory.

I am truly reading to use this 2005 ibook as a shotgun target except.....I HAVE to buy the computer that the vet school gives me - which isn't available until JULY, so I am FORCED to practice COPIOUS amounts of patience.

All dogs are in their kennels, obstinately because Tess is a puppy (and thus kennel time is GOOD for her), Reed is an idiot (ate cat poop out of the litter box), and Harley is hairy (and I am sweaty) - but more likely because them being in their kennels is somehow part of my patience learning process?

Anyways - the POINT of this post was the share a mugwumps post for who knows how far back. Unread post #670 to be exact, in my Reader.

For all you aspiring college graduates - here's an example of a GOOD personal statement that incorporates horses. I've volunteered as a personal statement reader for aspiring vet students and let me tell you - there's a LOT of ways to get this wrong.

One reason I think I liked the statement so much is because I could identify with it, and I wonder how many college reviewers will too. I didn't have a traumatic event that caused my fear and insecurity issues - rather it was a long string of things I witnessed - a couple of thefts that I witness (and stood there like a dumb person) has caused me to become obsessive about locking doors and vehicles and very conscious of security. A theft can happen in a flash and I don't want to have regrets. I get jumpy about meeting people on a street - either coming up behind me or coming towards me. I can scare myself silly in no time in the dark - I can start running just because and in about 3 seconds it goes from me running for fun, to me running from something totally imaginary. I am very good at freaking myself out. One reason I don't watch TV much is because things I see visually stay with me and then come back to life at inopportune times in regular life. I'm easily startled. I'm an extremely cautious and consiousitious driver.

I could identify with her and her horse, breaking through those bounds of fear and insecurity and doing something crazy. I thought she did an excellent job and it sounds like she got into CSU Fort Collins! Way to go and best of luck.

Back to Google reader. And possibly to let Reed out of the kennel. His panting is driving me insane - apparently when one eats cat crap encased in silicone absorbent litter, one despretely needs a drink.

Confessions

That's the problem with reading lots of blogs....or rather NOT reading the lots of blogs you are subscribed to. I currently have over 1,000 new posts that I'm frantically (yes, frantically) trying to get through. I was SURE it was Gundiva who asked us for our biggest fear/hang up that her readers had, that – if we did not force ourselves to get over it – could lead to insufficient care of our horses. But now I can't find the post. Anywhere. Not on her blog. Not on anyone elses blog. And since the deadline to post a comment about our biggest hangups on that mystery blog was something like Friday the 13th or something silly like that, I'm thinking it was an older post.

But I want to play anyways! So here's my comment...if i could find the freakin' post again!

Of course, she asked for a comment, not a post. It's a bit long for a comment I think.

And she asked for our hang ups, not an all out confession. And I believe the exact instructions were that it needed to be horse related.

I'm on a sabbatical. I don't have to follow instructions.

But, I had been working on this post for a while. During the last year I’ve done some really stupid, please put me out of my misery, dump, idiotic things. I would quietly note them down in evernote and told myself one day I would share those gems with you.

The day has come.

Here’s a confession of hang-ups, phobias, and general stupidity. Some big, some small. Hopefully I will still have some readers after all of this?

#1: I hate getting wet. Really really really hate it. If I don’t shower RIGHT AFTER running I won’t until the next time I run. Even more than getting wet, I hate cold water. Nothing makes my head twist off quite as fast as someone trying to spray me with a spray bottle during the summer (usually coupled with my other nemesis – the fan). I HATE IT. During the winter I can go more than a week without a shower (clean underwear, deodorant, careful choosing of outfits, and being anti-social). In a related phobia, I really abhor fans. I don’t like the feeling of the air blowing across my skin. I have really sensitive skin. Can we just blame this on my sensitive skin? So how does this affect my horses? I rarely give baths. I can do a lot with dry grooming. A true bath happens maybe once a year. During the summer I do rinse after a ride, but that falls into the category of getting wet incidentally right after physical activity, so it’s tolerable. In endurance, I probably don’t sponge as much as I should. I have all sorts of reasons I don’t sponge, and fortunately it looks like I may have a horse right now that doesn’t need a lot of sponging. Heaven forbid I might have to sponge copiously on my next horse. I can, of course, force myself to do what my horse needs. You bet I was dripping wet at Devil’s Thumb during Tevis last year cooling Farley. But unless the situation specifically calls for water, I look for alternatives, and unless it’s for the sake of he horse in front of me, I’m PROBABLY not recreating with water. Step away with the squirt bottle and battery fan, or someone is going to get hurt. I may be wet, but you will be bleeding by the time we’re through.

#2: At our last night ride from the boarding stable (not at an official ride), I actually disciplined Farley for spooking backwards when I told her to cross a road (I was on foot). I then realized….I….errr….was looking at her WITH my head lamp ON. The bright setting. And asking her to come towards me.

#3: While adjusting my stirrups for 20 MT 100 in February, I discovered I had miscounted the holes in my stirrups and have been riding with the left stirrup 1 hole shorter for at least the last 6 months. Ummm…..I have all sorts of ways to justify this, but the truth is that is wasn’t on purpose, so even if that’s where they needed to be, it was a really stupid error that could been putting a lot of strain on us both (I definitely had more cramping on that side etc.) and I’m almost POSITIVE that’s how the stirrups were at the Patriots 100….

#4: A year ago I paid $80 for a bit. When there was a perfectly good $35 one that was exactly the same thing. Egg butt oval mouth with a copper link. I don’t know how to describe it, but the $80 stubben just had a better curve and was a piece of ART compared to the $35 JP Korsteel or whatever it was. Technically it was the same bit. Visually there was just something…..I have no idea whether Farley likes the Stubben better than she would have like the cheaper bit. Part of me feels like I was a fool to spend $45 more than I had to – but the other part of me says that I’ll buy ONE of these kinds of bits, I trust Stubben, and if there’s “something” about the line and curve of the bars that just fits better somehow…..does this make me a bit snob? I’m probably choosing the wrong thing to pay for quality…….but I LIKE bits.

#5: I’m hard of hearing. I have a really hard time hearing certain tones. I have to constantly ask one of my sisters to repeat herself. Over and over and over. It’s infuriating. Not being able to hear well makes me a bit jumpy. That isn’t good when you are on a horse. I’ve learned to watch my horse for clues of something on the trail. On endurance rides it’s really difficult for me to hold a conversation if there’s noise in the background. It’s extremely frustrating to go to ride meetings. Just a few people murmuring back and forth and I can’t hear a darn thing. Any public event that is in a large outdoor setting (like graduations….) where there are likely to be rude people talking, and insufficient amplification of the people on stage is a real trial. Sometimes I have wondered whether some of my difficulties in playing the fiddle and being able to jam and pick up tunes is due to this. I like talk radio/talk podcasts a lot. I don’t listen to a lot of music. Music is hard for me to listen to. I have to concentrate. Otherwise it becomes noise that makes it hard for me think. I have always worn ear protection, never listened to loud music etc., so it’s probably mostly genetic. I have several close relatives that have the same problem and the family is only recently starting to look at those of us with the issue as less due to loud noises/lifestyle and more of a genetic basis. I admit that being hard of hearing is a bit embarrassing. And frustrating. BUT, it’s amazing what horses will do to help us overcome limitations with whatever tools are available. As a child I swore I would never wear a hearing aid – they were ugly, obnoxious, and frankly I found people who wore them a bit scary. BUT – I will GLADLY wear one when it’s time and I’m not even stressed about it, because I want to be there for my horses as close to 100% physically as I can be.

#6: I’ve always been a little freaked out by those harmonica contraptions that rest on a persons neck and cover their mouth, and let them play the harmonica hands-free. The uncomfortable-ness has stayed with me as an adult. I know –silly. But this is about confessions and freeing myself from secret obsessions right????? Fortunately I haven’t encountered many hands free harmonica contraptions in the horse world…..

#7: At the ripe old age of junior high, I declared I would never ride in an english saddle – those little “pancake” things. Growing up I was a HUGE fan of the Zane Grey books and the cowboys in those books were always sneering at those little flaps of leather on top of horses’ backs, and so I did too. Not sure what happened….but I’m sure my little preteen cowgirl self would be aghast at the saddle I rode 100 miles in – but on the other hand, she might be too distracted by that big shiny Tevis buckle…..

#8: Twice this year I have mounted Farley, realized I didn’t have my helmet on and consciously decided to ride without it. I know!!!!!! Stupid!!!!!! I ALWAYS ride with a helmet. Except when I forget apparently…..BTW – did you’all see this? Not likely enough to happen to me (and I could make the excuse that this is one reason among many my saddles don’t have horns) for me to declare myself done with helmets, but if it DID….boy, that would be a tough one!

#9: I have gone through a drive through with my horse trailer. I’m not sure if that’s a confession as much as a triumph? For those of you in the area…..there’s a wendy’s off of HWY 99 between Turlock and Fresno that’s horse trailer friendly! OK - not much of a confession. How's this - the major reason that I was scared to ride in an arena up until a few years ago, was because I was sure that the horse would ride too close to the side of the arena fence, my toe would catch, my entire foot and leg be wrenched to the side, and my foot and probably everything below the knee would be twisted off my body like a bottle cap. Yeah....definitely a hang up that I had to get over for the sake of my horse - the arena is a useful tool, not a death trap. I swear.

#10: Hornets and wasps bring me to full on panic attacks, complete with screaming and flailing. Honest. I become absolutely uncontrollable, incomprehensible and I’m pretty sure I will die if there ever comes a time when I have to actually deal with them in some manner other than screaming and running and crying.

Anyone else have anything they wish to confess? Anything you’ve gotten over for the sake of your horses?

Honesty

This post was originally going to be one of those fire and brimstone, you better critically evaluate yourself blah blah blah blah posts. But this morning, I don’t feel like harping on a perfectly constructed inspirational theme. Sometimes having a draft list of a billion posts is useful, but for some reason this topic is clogging up the pipeline and I’m having difficulty posting anything until this gets out of the way. So, today I present the idea - draw your own conclusions.

Here was the inspiration in a nutshell – In my lesson on Tuesday morning, my trainer had to get a bit short with me. I couldn’t get Zach round. I felt like I was doing the same thing over and over (which inside my head matched what she was asking) and the results didn’t change, which is the very definition of insanity. I said something to that effect, and she said something like I was talking too much in the lesson and not allowing her to tell me what to do in our allotted time slot.

And you know what – she was right. It’s not fun to hear criticism. And sometimes because of circumstances, that feedback isn’t constructed in the most “constructive”, “polite” way possible, and sometimes you might even think “that’s not fair!”. And guess what. It probably wasn’t totally fair because of what ever cirucumstances you can drag up to justify why you did it THIS time. Doesn’t matter – it’s still true. Maybe the feedback could have been “phrased differently”. Oh well – because it doesn’t make their feedback any less true. And maybe, just maybe, because it stung a little, THIS time it will sink in. And finally, THAT might have been what you needed to get to the next level.

And of course, when I use that all-too-easy-avoidance word “you”, I really mean “me”.

Are you having trouble getting to the next level in your chosen discipline? Are you having trouble moving up to 50’s or 100’s? Or maybe even completing LD’s consistently?

OK, I may have lied. Now that I’m into the post, I’m perfectly willing to go on harping on the topic. Now I present, more use of the word “you”, where the word “me” and “I” probably should go!

Do you have anyone in your horsey life that is willing to be frank and honest with you? Sometimes it takes some frustration in order for a person to be honest – I know I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, and sometimes I give the most honest feedback when I’m a bit grumpy and tired. (I know, probably something I could work on….). But likely, if I do blurt something out, it’s likely to have been on my mind for a while and while the comment may be said on the whim of the moment, often the feedback itself was not pulled out of thin air of the moment.

If the feedback stung, take a minute to evaluate whether it was because it was particularly true. Swallow your pride, bite back your words, and force yourself to listen and reflect. You may have been given a gem in the rough, that with a bit of polishing could take you to the next level and beyond.

I had all this figured out a couple of days after my lesson, but never got around to posting it – or if the truth be told, writing any of it except a few lines in evernote to remind me of my main points. Then yesterday, I came across this:

If you are not disciplined – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate children at all….No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Most of you probably recognize where this came from. I’ve tried to remove most of the direct references to God in it, so the point I’m trying to make in reference to riding comes through clearer.

Although discipline (Let’s call it “honest feedback”) is mostly painful…..one thing that is proved is that the person CARES, and assuming that feeling isn’t hate that could motivate false hurtful feedback, considers you one of their own. Someone that smiles and nods as you bumble your way down the wrong path isn't necessarily your friend or a trainer that considers you part of their team.

My trainers motivation is to make me the best dressage rider she can in a very short amount of time. In a nutshell I’m skipping an entire year of training, we don’t have time for me to gently figure out what I’m doing wrong. I need to create new neuro pathways NOW to learn the material NOW and be able to execute it in the show ring in 3 weeks. There is no time for her to figure out the best and most “constructive” way to tell me something and have some heart-to-hearts. If this is going to get done, anything that is holding me back needs to be addressed with swiftness and honesty. And I don’t have the time to feel hurt or offended if I want to perform well at Pebble Beach.

There’s not a lot of trainer/coaches in endurance, at least in the formal sense like there is in dressage. It can be hard for the newbie. At a dressage show I can ask for advice after a warm up in the ring and get very specific comments about what needs improvement, without a lot of regard for my “feelings”. At an endurance ride, much of the advice is tempered and it can be very very hard to get the people who should be giving advice to give it! They don’t want to waste their time giving advice that won’t be followed. They don’t have the time/energy to coach their advice so it won’t offend, they don’t want to scare away newbies or appear “unsupportive”. I quickly learned that the people giving the most and “loudest” advice weren’t always the people I necessarily should be listening too... I think, on the whole, endurance is full of independent, intelligent people, whom the attraction of endurance is partly that we can march to our own drum. Unlike dressage where there seems more black and white and less grey, endurance is awash in a sea of grey that leaves much to the rider’s interpretation. However, I think much can be gained by critically examining how you react to honest, not-so-polite criticism, and whether it is holding you back.

I’m sure I’ve opened myself up to all sorts of honest, open feedback in the comments! LOL. As with most of my posts, I recognize I fall short of the ideal, and writing is a way of clarifying what I need to do. I've probably contradicted myself several times, but view these posts as an evolution of an idea, instead of a heavily edited essay, and perhaps we can all have a sense of humor about this eh? :)

Posts should come more regularly. I’ve figured out that anything that needs to be done for ME on my own time (like running, blogging, writing) needs to happen in the morning. So instead of frittering away the best part of my day (early morning) doing housework and then laying in a stupor the rest of the afternoon, blogging will now happen first thing after devotions, and before walking the dog and going for a run. Know thyself…..

Time off

I'm not doing so well with my time off.

My (non-horsey) sister said that Farley looks depressed.

I'm itching for a new project to get excited about and I can't tell whether I'm too tired or too rested to blame my inability to do anything.

Farley has had 3 1/2 months off, and I think she stopped enjoying her time off and started looking for a job about 1/2 a month ago. What to do? Technically I could start riding her again, at a walk, around my parents. But the familiar fears and doubt have started to sneak in - there are a ton of loose dogs. And rough, uneven footing. What if she spooks? Or bolts? Or?

Unfortunately, most of my mounts over the years have been more Minxes (spooky, bolty, baulky, toss-the Melinda), and less Farley-like (steady, calm, realible). Thus, give me some time off and my mind reverts. Never mind Farley has never given me a reason not to trust her. Never mind the only time she's difficult is while jumping. Never mind that most of our conditioning rides I have to spend most of my energy "motivating" her to go above a nice walk or jog and actually approach something endurance-like. A fire breathing dragon, she is not.

I feel like it's time to get back on. There's a point where waiting to wanting to do something again is only captured by actually doing it. Three months of pasture time for her and dressage lessons on a schoolmaster for me is enough. It's time to stop making excuses and fall in love with my horse and riding all over again.

Just like any relationship, the love is not gone - it's just gone stale from the lack of time and attention spent on it. Sometimes to recapture it, you have to go through the motions for a while, and then you turn around one day and there it is! The butterflies in the stomach as you pull up the drive to visit your horse. You can't see her yet, but you know any moment....and there she is! And you get to ride today! And that makes it the best afternoon EVER!

So what's the plan?

I take it one day at a time. I'll take a day for myself, and then I'll have a Farley day. Sometimes I think my biggest enemy is having all the time in the world to have everything exactly how I want it - to have every day to myself to get all my projects done and have everything organized exactly how I want it - I'm pretty sure that's going to be the death of me. If that WAS the answer to a happy Melinda, I sure think I would be a happier Melinda right now. Instead, I am a more grumpy Melinda. A more easily irritated Melinda. I need more of something and I think that something is "horse-time".