Almost out of my Funk.
Not quite up to composing an entire blog post but, things are looking up.
1. I'm 90% sure I found a place for Farley that is acceptable.
2. I'm having a lot of success (more than I even dared to dream) teaching Tess how to weave poles. After only 2 days of really working at it, I'm ready to add poles 3 and 4 - very exciting. Even more exciting, a week before her first birthday, Tess really shows signs of an approaching maturity and is so much fun to be around and play with.
3. The AERC convention is this weekend, and I get to visit Funder. Alcohol may or may not be involved.
It almost makes up for the fact that:
1. I'm worried that I didn't pass the test last Friday. And that the final is Monday and Tuesday.
2. I feel guilty for being a bad horse owner and not doing anything with Farley this week and weekend - not even basic stuff.
3. I've missed all my runs for the last 2 weeks and generally feel like a fat slob.
4. I'm having MAJOR issues managing my anxiety in the last couple of weeks. See previous comments about lack of running and horse time......that just may be a major contributor (who are we fooling here??? OF COURSE my lack of taking care of myself and doing my self care acivities are too blame!).
5. My allergies are killing me.
Too much caffeine today (really hard for me to kick the caffeine habit and I'm back on it - it's not that I'm even tired - I just REALLY like the high caffeine gives me.....but the "after math" of mental effects is so not good for me and I REALLY need to let it go), it's my bedtime, and I think I'm starting to fall into that "HALT" mentality that one of my wise readers advised me of......so blog post tomorrow if I'm still sane. That's a huge if. The 4 hour after noon labs after a full morning in the class room are slowly killing off brain cells. I think I only managed 2 showers last week?
I keep meaning to end this post and yet I keep rambling on and on and on......
GOOD NIGHT!
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As hard as it, please don't be so hard on yourself. We're all just doing the best that we can at any given moment in this thing we call Life. Do a little bit and feel accomplished. And remember (for Heaven's sake) you're in VET SCHOOL. It's HARD, EXHAUSTING, DEMANDING. That kind of mental stress would work anybody over.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and feel re-balanced soon. We're all rooting for you! :0)
Hang in there, Mel. You've got a lot going on. We all do this guilt thing to ourselves from time to time, but you know, after long periods where I didn't/couldn't ride, my horses were just fine and we went right back to what we were doing before with no problems. I'll bet that happens for you and Farley, too.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple days and you can relax this weekend! Then some time next week you can just start over with running, horse care, riding, etc. Call it extracurricular bankruptcy and mark up a new calendar with brand-new starting-over goals. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes we just hit roadblocks in life.. Trying to balance everything is not easy. Take a deep breatha dn tackle one thing at a time. The convention should be fun, and I will take my bets there might be alchohol involved! Have a great time.
ReplyDeleteHey, just be glad Tess is a dog. With puppies, the hard part is over in a year and then you can enjoy the results of what you put into the training. With kids, that's about the time they leave. Of course, that can be good, too!
ReplyDeleteHey, just be glad Tess is a dog. With puppies, the hard part is over in a year and then you can enjoy the results of what you put into the training. With kids, that's about the time they leave. Of course, that can be good, too!
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten some great advice here so far. I don't have anything major to add just have to agree with the advice to not feel guilty about quality horse time right now. Have fun at the convention, sounds like a great stress reliever!
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