So I am making yet another attempt to post. Remember that this is a supreme effort of a sunshine deficient, washed up 100 mile endurance rider who is currently unemployed and you expectations will probably be set low enough that this post will become readable.
OK. First off I need to make this horse-related.
You know how I can ride horses in the dark, along drop offs, gallop bareback in a halter, and think chuck wagon racing sounds like the COOLEST THING EVER?
So I do have a couple of fears that can only be described as phobias.
Such as jumping off an airplane to do something silly like skydive (which I recently got invited to do, and OBVIOUSLY turned the "opportunity" down).
And buzzing flying insects with stingers.
And insects that go "crunch" under foot.
Like roaches.
Though in my defense I was barefoot and still in my bathrobe at 5 am.
So when I saw the ugly outdoor roach INSIDE darting across the dining room (carpeted) floor, can you blame me when I went eek and used the only weapon I had available to me at the time? A porcelen coffee cup.
I turned the coffee cup over the top of the roach in the middle of the dining room floor.
Any pretense that I would have been able to step or otherwise smash the roach in the heat of the moment was gone as I contemplated the crunchy insect under the cup.
I did the only sensible thing.
I texted Matt, who was on his way to work.
"EEEKKKK!!!!! A roach in the dining room!"
"did you smash it"
"I put a coffee cup over the top of it"
"You have GOT to be kidding".
So, I did the next sensible thing. I put on real clothes. I had myself a cup of coffee (in a different cup). I put the dogs in their kennels because they kept barking at the cup.
I started spraying random chemicals under the cup.
Nope still alive.
I finally settled on the "kill on contact" wasp spray.
Nope.
I decided to clean the kitchen.
Apparently 15-20 minutes in a noxious atmosphere was what was needed and the dead (I think?) roach was tossed outside on the lawn by virtue of a coffee filter.
When Matt came home he said he was suprised that little overturned coffee cups weren't all over the floor.
He stepped on a (different) cockroach in the drive way. The icky, crunchy body is still there even after a week of rain.
Gross.
Cockroaches aren't animals and I don't have to like them as a vet right?
I'll get everyone to go skydiving eventually. Wait and see!
ReplyDeleteRemind me never to bring my pet insects to your clinic when you get your DVM! )G(
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should all mail you a box of 200 watt flood lamps.
ReplyDeleteCockroaches are aliens and therefore do warrant consideration of Earth insects, like butterflies and honeybees.