Paraproskdokin Sentences

Paraproda...what?

Oh yeah...we are going to have some fun today.

John Karsemeyer published a list of bluegrass related "Paraproskdokin sentences" in a CBA welcome column back in April. Now, even though I know that my readers are very smart and probably already know what the paraprodolacky....whatever sentences are, let's use his very smart sounding definition so that I can refresh my feeble memory.

"Paraprosdokian sentences are based on a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader (or listener) to reinterpret or re-frame the first part. Paraprosdokian is from the Greek meaning 'beyond' and, meaning 'expectation.'”

Uh huh. Again, I'm sure my very smart readers are LIGHT YEARS ahead of me and ready to plunk down 3 or 4 apiece in the comments, but I'm going to give this my best shot.

****Disclaimer - I may have shamelessly modified ones that other people have already written....If there's an especially lame one, than you know that's one I "borrowed". If it's incredibly funny - consider that one of my originals!

1. I asked God for a new horse trailer, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a horse trailer and asked for forgiveness.

2. The last thing I want to do is leave you behind at a ridecamp when it's over. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why endurance riders appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

4. As a young person I thought I wanted a career as an equestrian. Turns out I just wanted the paychecks.

5. I didn't say it was your fault that you got my favorite campsite at the ridecamp, I said I was blaming you.

6. Always borrow a good horse from a pessimist. He won't expect to get it back.

7. Ridecamp hospitality is making your guests and neighbors feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

8. I keep missing you at those endurance rides, but my aim is getting better.

9. That ain't no part of nothin', but it might be part of something.

10. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

11. Horses are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pasture and throw them food.

12. You do not need a helmet to fall. You only need a helmet for the opportunity to fall twice.

13. Some endurance riders cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

14. To be sure of hitting reaching your endurance goals, succeed first and call whatever you accomplished the goal.

Now it's your turn!


(I'm using John's article and his modified sentences with permission)