Status Change

It’s been over 4 weeks since I’ve been on Farley’s back.

I have to admit I don’t miss it.

I can remember in the past when I was ITCHING to get back into the saddle. To rehab the horse as fast as possible.

I’m not sure exactly what has changed.

…It might be that achieving my riding goals has been put into perspective of my horse’s long term health.

…It might be that I finally understand what putting my horse’s welfare first means and so have lost the desire to continually push what I and my horse are capable of.

…It might be that I’ve achieved most of my short-term riding goals.

…It might be that during this life transition, my mind simply can’t contain anything beyond the immediate life issues.

…It might be that I’ve been due for an extended break from riding for a while …It might be that in my “old” (*ducking to avoid the rotten tomatoes*) age I’ve finally achieved the virtues of patience and perspective.

Whatever the root cause, I have zero desire to ride right now. I am simply happy hand walking. I’m not counting the days until we can start walking under saddle. I’m fully prepared to take a year to slowly bring her back – and I’m looking forward to doing it. I feel no pressure to hurry the process along.

One factor may be that I’m more connected to the endurance community now – through this blog and other internet resources. I don’t feel as if by not going to rides I’m completely cut off from my one “socialization” activity. We will still have conversations about riding and horses and endurance….and I’ll have plenty of time to reflect how I want to approach conditioning this go’round.

I don’t particularly feel like taking lessons – but as I don’t feel particularly motivated to ANY thing right now, other than activities that physically move me closer to my new life (such as packing and moving), I don’t take that as a sign I should discontinue lessons. In fact, taking lessons right now is probably one of the most important things I can do - for my riding right now, and my future riding. Lessons will not be reality again for a long time. Farley will not be ready for regular schooling for at least another 3-6 months, long after I need to discontinue lessons. It’s important to “bank” some “correct” riding right now, on a very fun, capable horse.

One thing I’ve realized is that my love of riding is disconnected from the love of the horse as an animal, and from Farley. I don’t particularly care that I can’t ride Farley right now. I just like having her, and spending time with her. She makes me happy, even though she doesn’t have a job right now. These down times always make me reevaluate whether my love of the equestrian nature is a love of riding, or a love of horses. I think that as much as I enjoy riding, my love of horses trumps riding or any other specific equestrian activity. I’m not particularly anxious to ride, I’m not so desperate that I’m begging rides from my friends or even feel a particular desire to ride someone else’s horse. In fact, I would prefer to just wait to ride until Farley ready for a rider again. That’s not to say I won’t get on another horse for a specific purpose (for example, staying in lessons), but I’m not inclined to jump on a horse “just to ride”.

Of course, it’s only been 4 weeks. We shall see what tune I’m singing after 4 months…..