...I was going to say "an era" - but it sounds so overwrought and melodramatic. So I guess we'll just call it the end of a "chapter".
Most likely, my McClellan saddle is sold.
It’s bittersweet. I put it up for sale for all the right reasons and those reasons haven’t changed. But it’s still hard to see it go. It’s the saddle that I used for all of Minx’s endurance rides. It was the first saddle I bought.
When I put my Solstice up for sale, I toyed with the idea of keeping the McClellan. It’s the most secure, comfortable saddle I’ve ever ridden in. It’s great for horses that I don’t know, or for those first couple trail rides of the season, or for camping. But I never got around to pulling the ad down, and even reduced the asking price – so while I my heart wanted to keep it, the logical decision was to let it go.
I think one reason this particular item, even after everything I’ve sold, is the hardest yet to see go is because of what it represents. There are a couple of core pieces of horse “stuff” that represents “endurance riding” to me. One of those items is this saddle. Not that endurance isn’t possible without the “stuff” that has come to represent endurance to me, but for some reason, watching this item go makes me feel lost. That I’m not an endurance rider anymore. That endurance is truly gone. Endurance has defined who I am for so long. It wasn’t something I did, it was WHO I was.
Logically, I know that I will do more endurance – perhaps even by the end of this year. I know that I don’t need a lot of STUFF to get by on an endurance ride. It’s as simple as me and Farley traveling down the trail in a saddle that fits.
More than anything, see this saddle go makes me realize more than ever that I’m starting a new chapter in life. One with endurance, but not necessarily one centered around endurance anymore. The saddle was one of the first things I bought after graduating from college and getting my horse and trailer. As it marked the beginning, I guess it’s only fitting that it also marks the end of, what has been so far, one of the happiest times of my life.
I’m ready for the change. I really am. A change in my life, and a change in how endurance looks and works in my life.
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What a terrific picture on your blog, fellow horse lover. It makes me homesick to go riding again, which I can't do. Bad back.
ReplyDeleteSo you sold your favorite saddle? I lost my favorite horse almost 20 years ago. I put him down because of his bad knees and old age. I still miss Rex terribly.
Now, instead of riding, I ride vicariously in my horse books. (11 of them)
Please visit me at:
www.marshahubler.com
Thats just how I felt when I quit horse racing, it was such a huge part of 'me' that I was a bit lost.
ReplyDeleteThen, my friend started talking to me about Endurance riding, and I started to get interested in it, I developed new goals.
I still love racing, but for me it was necessary to give it up, cold turkey and move on.
Oh, and I'm still contemplating about whether people actually change from your blog last week. I think they do.