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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Occupational Hazard

Why is it no one addresses the occupational hazards of English riding?


There's lots of western riding cautions:

  • Grab a horn and lose a finger in the rope
  • Gored by a cow
  • Throw a rope wrong and lose a finger
  • Tripping over your spurs


One thing English does have is a gazillion different designs of stirrups all designed to keep you from getting dragged.  Which honestly, with the plethora of English boot types, seems highly unlikely.


Which is why I would like introduce a never before discussed hazard of English riding.  One I think is much more likely than being dragged.


What if….


And this theoretical only


What if… lived by yourself and…


Before I go on I would like to point out that living by yourself has several benefits.  Such as, you know that all food that is edible is on the TOP shelf of the fridge.  Everything on the BOTTOM shelf is just chillin' there until you get around to throwing it away.  No need to open the container of white beans or pulled pork to observe the mold because you already know it's there.  It's just the trash needs to be taken out before you can dispose of it….and really there is no point in putting ANOTHER dish in the sink before you wash the 2 weeks worth already there….


But I digress.


Keep in mind this is totally theoretical.


What if….you lived by yourself and….it took 2 people to get your ariat fieldboots off?


Yes, maybe I technically wear a "wide" calf and not the "regular", but for $5 used boots can I really complain? 


So, what if…(totally theoretical, you understand) that your only choice was to wear your field boots to bed with the hope that the morning would bring a number of new things, including smaller calves?


Which is a shame because the said (theoretical) rider could probably really use a shower after such a tough ride, which is quite difficult while clad in Italian-made field boots.


Why is it that no one TALKS about this?  Seriously!  It could happen.  Ever heard of a WESTERN rider not being able to get their boots off?  No! Because they wear practical shoes that are not required to fit like second skins. But again, we haven't technically heard about this happening to an English rider either eh?


As usual, everyone has had WONDERFUL comments on my last couple of posts.  I'm saving all your responses to respond to this weekend when I have a real internet connection.  You guys are so smart, so witty, and so insightful – you should have your own blog!  Oh wait, most of you do.  J How did end up so lucky as to have all of the best blog buddies HERE visiting MY blog. Seriously.  Be assured I'm still reading all of your blogs on a daily basis (via google reader which is NOT blocked), even if I'm not able to comment regularly.  Keep up the good work!  My day wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without you. 


  1. Darling -

    You need one of these:

    Seriously. =)

  2. 1) Bootjack (see above)
    2) Nylon knee-highs to go between boot and breeches
    3) Sturdy furniture to brace yourself against when 1 & 2 prove to be less-than-100% effective at reducing hypothetical friction on the hypothetical rider's hypothetical calves
    4) A few thousand trail miles (preferably with rainstorms and/or pony swimming tossed in) to break in the boots to the point that you no longer need assistance removing them... or putting them on! ;)

  3. **theoretically** LAUGHS HER HEAD OFF

    bet jonah didn't like sharing his bed with a pair of ariats :D

  4. I actually do not own a boot jack. Must look into one of those.....

    I actually bought some of those nifty nylon socks a couple of days ago!!!!! (for my dressage show outfit). I think they are going to help a lot.

    I don't have much trouble when I wear tights, but the cotton naturals are a bit thicker and especially when I sweat...uggg. My dress boots are actually easier to get off than these used field boots. If I ever get a new pair, I definately need a wide calf! The back seam is splitting on these.


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