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Friday, April 19, 2013

Earl Gray's story continues

So. Update on Earl Gray. I drove to the Les Schwab to get my tire fixed yesterday afternoon, going 50-55 mph in traffic going 55mph in the slow lane of I-80 with my emergency blinkers on. A truck 3 lanes over was suprised by the slowness of the traffic (it was rush hour....) and procedured to careen out of control across 3 lanes of traffic, ending his ping pong game by attempting to ram the front end of his 3/4 ton dodge diesel through the drivers side door and window of my corolla, the recently christened "Earl Gray".

Making a sharp right turn onto the grassy shoulder of the freeway and watching the truck continue to come towards me, literally touching the glossy hide of Earl, the highly appropriate thought of "you m-ther f-ck-r I don't have collision on this f-ck-ng car" roared through my mind, I decided that risking flipping my car on the shoulder and ending up in the ditch was perferable to having this very large truck total my car and possibly take out my skull at the same time as he T-boned me at 70 mph.

In a move remincent of a horse curving its body away from a horse-eating stump as it's travelling along at top speed I bent the frame of Earl with my mind into a C shape (or so it seemed to me at the time) and did some sort of hop/spook sidewise movement while gunning the car forward and managed to get the truck behind me, keep my car upright, and bring my car to a gentle stop on the shoulder some what parellel to the road way.

When it was all said and done there were 5 cars on the side of the road and I was the only one not smashed up. A couple of superficial scratches at the level of my driver side mirror that don't even break the paint layer.

These are the things that we can conclude from this story

1. Earl doesn't care for his name. Perhaps a name change is necessary?

2. My hood ornament, taken from my family's last Toyota Corolla that randomly caught up fire in a parking lot is cursed. Earl came without one, and being the same model year as the '92 just sitting on the property, I "borrowed it" (along with some other random parts that I'm totally not admitting to because I was strictly forbidden to part that car unless I was willing to take the entire thing....). So perhaps a sacrificial burning of the toyota grill emblem is called for?

The other way to look at it is that Earl is actually blessed. After all, if it hadn't been for me going slow and being in the slow lane, I probably couldn't have gotten out of the way. And if I had been in my much higher center of gravity truck, I probably would have been hit (probably would have survived because still no bueno).

So in conclusion, I STILL didn't get to riding yesterday. Or running. :(


  1. "Wow what a story! Saved by your micro spare and attention to what you were doing. And quick reflexes attributable to years of riding an Arab going fast over long distances."

  2. I'm very happy to hear you're okay and very amused at your car/horse analogy.

  3. Maybe you should keep the ornament and perform a ritual exorcism...

  4. Holy crappola, batman! Glad you and the car came of it safely.

  5. Wow. I wish I had read this before mailing that letter b/c I could have asked all sorts of questions. I am happy you are all right. What happens now, do you know?


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